Despite the huge number of articles about how to “bring pleasure to your bedroom” and “spice up you sex life,” many of us have not yet gotten a fulfilling answer with practical results.
Most look for a wonderful partner, create extraordinary situations or experiment with new toys. We intuitively are drawn to something new, unknown and very exciting to stimulate our desire. And that is absolutely fine to look for inspiration outside. To some extent it boosts our sex drive and supports a positive mood, but for others it may not seem satisfying enough. There is something inside our bodies that limits our capacity for experiencing very high states of pleasure.
Are you familiar with this feeling of disappointment when you do your best but want something more? For sure there are ways to significantly improve your sex life. In this article we will shed light a bit on the mystery of “enlightened sex” and where to begin if some day you decide to go multi-orgasmic.
For this we invite you to shift your focus deep inside, to the very centre of your being. And before you begin reading we would warn you that you will find no “quickies” here that you can apply once before going to bed and miracles will happen. We collected some major lessons we learned as sex educators over the course of ten years of personal and professional practice with our clients.
Very often we are likely to become stuck in our heads processing intellectual knowledge which may never reflect our life experience. Many myths and misbeliefs around sex exist because people are disconnected from their bodies and are unable to feel how their actions, thoughts and emotions influence their health.
Aside from certain cultural norms and the shame discussing sexuality, it may cause us to subconsciously disconnect from our bodies and build defensive mechanisms to protect us from feeling too deeply. To some degree, we all limit our pleasure whether or not we are aware of it.
The first step toward making positive changes is to stop treating our body as a separate object, center our awareness inside of it and find out what is really going on there. This habit will create a solid base for practicing the next steps as your own body will tell you whether this or that behavior is good for you and when it comes time to say “stop”. Establishing an essential grounding in your body sensations brings a very different quality of presence into your sex life and helps to both set safe boundaries and avoid unpleasant moments.
Tons of books exist, along with many programs for workshops dedicated to this topic, because different people require different approaches and levels of complexity. If you are really serious about walking down this road, we suggest your boost your sensitivity by practicing somatic exercises that involve breath-work, visualisations, movements, voice, touch, dance and other methods.
Many scientific studies have proven that we can consciously influence our body functions due to neuroplasticity — the brain’s ability to form neural connections and create new pathways to accomplish a needed function. In other words, we can teach our nervous system to feel more pleasure if we stimulate neurons correctly through certain regular activity.
Thanks to the pioneers of sex education, new professions appeared that include whole systems of bodywork. Further, they combine the ancient Eastern teachings (Taoism, Yoga, sexual Tantric practices etc) with the most progressive knowledge in psychology, neuroscience and somatic disciplines.
To practice the whole system of somatice exercises may sound very complicated for you personally. Well sure, but have you ever seen a guy or a girl who is able to experience orgasmic states for an hour non-stop? We have, but not very often because it takes patience, discipline and perhaps years of practice. But it is worth trying. How do we come to know this? Because sometimes we deal with such clients in our work.
Combination of Excitation and Relaxation
We also teach clients to access these elevated ecstatic states in practice by receiving intimate touch and applying conscious breath, movement and vibration of the voice to enable to arousal expand. Tantric massage is among the most efficient tools in our work, because pleasure naturally draws attention to the body, reduces stress, helps our clients to become fully present and melt with the process.
As arousal grows, most participants tend to suppress it or to come to orgasm in order to release this sexual tension. But in our session we offer another option to notice these inner impulses, relax into the tension, relax into the pleasure and accept any body responses without judgment, fear or expectation. The sequence will take you through a wave motion of excitation followed by periods of relaxation.
Centering your attention inside and waking up the senses requires a lot of courage. As our body and mind are inseparable, tracking these sensations in the body can lead us to suppressed emotions and inner stress, which we obviously try to avoid. So, if you really want to become open for intense pleasure, prepare yourself for the complex work required with your mind, emotions and body.
From our experience we notice that our clients learn both quicker and easier routes to multiple orgasm when they have feelings of connectedness with themselves, their partners, family, friends and the rest of the world. This is a very important point because the state of openness feeds on feelings of safety, spontaneity, playfulness, vulnerability and honesty.
Answering the following questions can help you understand what is actually going on within your relationships. You can either see the beauty of the world around you or remain shut-down and in hiding from something.
Categorised in: Body-Mind Connection