My clients, their stories and my own personal situations make me educate more and more in order to find the answers: how to be happier, healthier and have better relationships with ourselves and others.
I started my career from tantric massages and sexological bodywork. I find these treatments very effective for going deep into the body and starting feeling more. Then I realized for me it was not enough just to be sensitive. Now I understand why so many people avoid it and prefer to stay in the head and regulate their lives with the intellect. Because when I got very sensitive I started feeling not only good but also bad things, my old wounds, old programs I had been accumulated in the course of my life. Being sensitive and with some level of awareness is a gift and I wanted to use it pragmatically and enjoy life rather than suffer. That is why I headed to a far away country to study BodyMind Gestalt.
This training was incredibly healing for me and an eye opener. It made me absolutely change my view on therapies. Before that, I asked my head what technique is good for a client, because I have learnt many techniques and exercises, my brain is a full storage of that stuff. I offered it and the client was supposed to listen to me and practice. Now I open up all my sensors to feel where the client is at the present moment and invite him or her to do the same and explore different possibilities relying on the body wisdom, the voice of the heart and authenticity rather than stiff and structured techniques. I have never met such a compassionate and safe therapy where the client’s resistence and personal level of openness would be of such a great importance.
BodyMind Gestalt considers the body and mind as a whole and flexible system which is constantly moving and changing. When we are not satisfied with our states we have a habit to do something, take measures to fix it and so do I. During the training I discovered my habitual approach was not efficient. Encounting different states of my clients I sometimes feel lost, because I am not sure what tool will benefit them most of all. I asked my teacher what to do in this case and he answered: “Instead of asking what to DO, ask youself how to BE with that. You cannot make the river flow in the opposite direction, make it flow faster or change direction. You can just create conditions for free and natural flow and observe it… Even the best method applied with the best motivation can turn into a violence if the therapist has ambitions to fix the client in its own way and do not take into account his or her natural processes in the present moment”. Instead of trying to fix or change the imperfection he offerers to explore it and be with it allowing the body wisdom, intuition and instincts to awake and “do its job”. The most precious for me in this training was experiencing the body-mind integrity. I really felt like all the controversial, light and dark parts of me intertwine, live together, shape my body and create my view on the world. And it is not possible to cut off the part of me which I do not like or to grow the new one which I like. I am not a machine, I am a whole river which is not possible to put in a box of stereotypes. Moreover, I learnt how to navigate in different states and find the best solutions in a “rough waters of life”.
After this training I feel way more relaxed. Before I thought my body and mind were so damaged and I would never reach my perfect state. Now I think my system is already perfect. It can adapt and compensate in difficult situations. It can block my body to save my mind from overwhelming emotions and “shut them in a closet” until the right conditions enables me to reprocess them in a conscious state. I think I have learnt to respect all kinds of defensive mechanisms of my being and consider blocks as our assistants rather than our enemies we have to struggle with. I give massages and bodywork sessions again but now I feel more compassion for all states and trust in our potential.
Categorised in: Body-Mind Connection